


Wings of Anxiety

by ShadeCrawler



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeCrawler/pseuds/ShadeCrawler
Summary: Virgil normally kept his wings pressed tight against his back. He never let them out to stretch when he was outside his room. Yes, they got sore after a little while and yes, it rustled his feathers to the point that it took forever to groom them.But, he couldn’t take them out. He just couldn’t. Dark Sides didn’t have wings. Only Light Sides did.





	1. Chapter 1

Virgil normally kept his wings pressed tight against his back. He never let them out to stretch when he was outside his room. Yes, they got sore after a little while and yes, it rustled his feathers to the point that it took forever to groom them. 

But, he couldn’t take them out. He just couldn’t. Dark Sides didn’t have wings. Only Light Sides did. 

He knew that for a fact. Deceit didn’t have any wings and the other Dark Sides didn’t have them. He remembered Deceit explaining that to him when he had just manifested.

_“Us Dark Sides, we don’t have wings.” He had explained patiently. “Only those Light Sides have them.”_ _  
_ _Virgil, just Anxiety back then, had blinked up at him and shifted his weight around, his wings flapping slightly. “I have wings.” He whispered. “Does that mean I’m a Light Side?”_

_ Deceit scoffed and shook his head. “No.” His smile sharpened into a smirk. “You’re Anxiety, remember? You’re one of us. A Dark Side.” He knelt down and cupped Anxiety’s cheek. “You having wings is a mistake. Just like you.” _

Virgil knew better now to believe everything Deceit said. He was a liar, he lied to get what he wanted. He wanted Virgil to be dependent on him and not to think anything good about the Light Sides. He  _ knew _ that.

But, Deceit wasn’t incapable of telling the truth. Not everything that came out of that slimy mouth was a lie. When it came to this, Virgil knew that Deceit had been telling the truth. It didn’t matter that what he did, what he had always done, he did to protect Thomas and the others. He was Anxiety. He was a Dark Side and him having wings was a mistake.

Even the wings themselves were dark. Totally black with purple tips. There were little purplish feathers littered in random spots but there were far and few between. They were ugly. 

The other’s wings weren’t like his. Roman’s wings were a bright and beautiful red. He had gold and silver feathers lining the edges. They almost seemed to glow when the sun hit them. Logan’s were various shades of blues. They matched him so much. Just looking at them made Virgil feel so much calmer. Patton’s were Virgil’s favourite. They had so many different colours battling for dominance. On any other person, Virgil was sure that it would look so weird, but, they were just so right for Patton. They just complimented him and his personality.

Virgil couldn’t show them his wings. They only just accepted him as a friend, maybe even part of the family. They never brought up the fact that he was a Dark Side. They were trying so hard to make him feel accepted. If he showed them his wings, let his ugly secret out, then everything would be ruined. They would hate him again. They would never want to look at him again. He couldn’t risk that. He wouldn’t give up his family for the world. 

So, he dealt with the awkward self grooming. It was difficult to do by himself but he managed. He dealt with the sore muscles. They were easy to deal with, he had dealt with them for years. What wasn’t very easy, was watching the others groom each other. They were so gentle and the wings looked so glossy afterwards. He tried not to stare or have his wings flap in longing, but, they must have noticed his looks because they never groomed each other in the common rooms anymore. It was always in the privacy in one of the other’s room. It was fine, Virgil understood. They could tolerate him yeah, but who would want a Dark Side watching something meant solely for Light Sides. No one, that’s who. Virgil was totally fine with caring for his wings on his own. He didn’t need anyone else to help him with them.

Until he absolutely did. 

He didn’t even know how he did it. Maybe he slept on them wrong or maybe he pulled them in his sleep. But, he woke up one day grappling with his wings and just sobbing with pain. They hurt so bad. They hadn’t hurt like this when he went to sleep. Oh fuck, they were on fire. 

He tried to stand up, to do something. Maybe, if he groomed them a bit the pain would go away. But it hurt too much. He could only lay on his side and sob. He didn’t think anything could hurt like this. He tried to make a grab for one of his shirts or his hoodie but they were too far out of his reach. 

“Hey, Panic at the Everywhere! Patton got breakfast ready for us! Get up!”

Virgil jumped at Roman’s loud voice coming from outside his door and stuffed his fist inside his mouth. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breath. What if Roman heard him? He’d come in. He would come in and see! Tiny whines and gasps escaped through his fist and Roman called again, his tone a little more concerned.

“Virge? You okay in there? You want me to come in?” Virgil heard his door knob twisting and a wail slipped through his lips. His wings were on fire, he couldn’t stop crying, and now Roman was going to see his wings and everything was ruined. He dropped his fist to his chest and shuddered in agony.

He managed to sit up just as Roman opened the door and slipped through. He couldn’t even hide his wings behind his back, they hurt so bad. They just laid uselessly at his side, each twitch sending pain shooting through Virgil. 

He clenched his eyes closed and huddled in on himself. Roman could see them, there was no way he couldn’t. He knew and he would tell the others and they would hate him and throw him to the side. He had ruined it just like he ruined everything. 

Soft footsteps echoed through his room as Roman made his way towards him. Virgil shook with anticipation and fear. What was Roman going to do? Why hadn’t he gone screaming to the others yet? He flinched back when Roman touched his shoulder but it didn’t dislodge Roman’s hand. It ran down Virgil shoulder and he whined when it touched his wings.

“Virgil.” Roman whispered, in awe? In disgust? “Oh, Virgil your wings. What happened? When did….how did…. just how?” 

Virgil opened his eyes and glanced up at Roman’s face. He wasn’t even able to read it properly because of the almost complete lack of light in his room. What was he thinking? What was he going to do now?

Apparently Roman knew exactly what he was going to do because the next thing Virgil knew Roman was taking him gently in his arms and shifting him so he was carrying him bridal style. Virgil couldn’t open his mouth to complain, he was past the point of words. He could only moan in pain as his wings gave a painful spasm. Roman just shushed him softly and made his out of the room, keeping a hand braced against Virgil’s wings.

He was taking him to the others. Patton was going to be so disgusted and angry with him. He was going to hate him, Virgil just knew it. Logan was going to hate him too. It was only logical. Dark Side + wings = horrible mistake. It was simple problem solving. 

Virgil cried the whole way to the commons. His wings twitched and shuddered along with him, just making the pain that much worst. Roman didn’t stop walking up he was in the middle of the common room and he pushed the coffee table out of his way with a single kick when he arrived. Virgil’s tears got worse when he heard Roman call for the others. They were going to see.

Patton entered the common room first, just seconds before Logan. Virgil started sobbing violently at the sound of Patton’s gasp and buried his head into Roman’s shoulder. He didn’t hear what was said next, but there was suddenly gentle hands running through his feathers and massaging the muscles near his wing bones. He spasmed again and moaned, in both pain and relief. It hurt, but it also helped. 

Virgil was then placed on the floor, stomach first. Someone had placed blankets on the ground and it felt so nice. His wings were being stretched out and he tried to twist away in desperation. Soothing words he couldn’t make out and a hand pushing him back on his stomach stopped him and then a weight fell on his thighs. What was happening? What were they going to do to him?

He was expecting pain, just like Deceit always gave to him whenever he let his wings out around him. He wasn’t expecting more soothing fingers running through his feathers or for the massage to begin again. He arched his back and cried out, this time in relief. He was pushed down again and his head fell in a lap.

He laid there for longer than he could tell, with the Light Sides massaging his sore muscles and grooming his wings. Slowly, the pain bled away. He relaxed, minute by minute, until he was a puddle in their hands. He gave low moans at times and leaned into the hands. He couldn’t help it, it felt so good and he had never had someone touch his wings without pain following close after. He couldn’t have resisted even if he wanted to any more.

Finally, after pain had stopped shooting up and down his wings, the hands stopped and retreated. His right wing was gently maneuvered so it laid over his left and he was rolled onto his side. He lifted his eyes and they met Logan’s. He was kneeling next to him and was staring at him with concern and confusion. Patton stood behind him and was wringing his hands in worry. Roman was sitting next to Logan and when Virgil met Roman’s, he quickly flicked them away. Roman’s expression was unreadable but his hands were shaking. 

“Here.” Logan and Roman gently took him by the shoulders and helped him shift into a sitting position. His wings folded out so they were resting on the ground. Logan kept his hand where it was while Roman slide his down to grasp his hand. Logan’s eyes roamed over Virgil’s frame and Patton walked around and sat down so he was sitting to the right of him. “Try not to slouch, okay?” Logan kept his voice low when he spoke. “Sit up straight, it’ll help. Your wings are suffering from pulled muscles. Just let them relax.”

Virgil nodded and, moving his gaze so it was trained at the floor, did as Logan said. His chin was grabbed and was raised and maneuvered so he was meeting Patton’s eyes head on. 

“Oh kiddo.” Virgil felt tears burning in the back of his eyes at Patton’s whisper and tried his best to blink them back. “When did you get your wings? And, why didn’t you come to us for help? We would’ve made sure it wouldn’t have come to this point.” 

Virgil started shaking again and Roman started to rub his thumb over his knuckles. “I’ve….. I’ve always had wings. Ever since I manifested.” He tried to move his head so he didn’t have to look in Patton’s empathic eyes. But, Patton let out a little “Ah!” like he was chiding a puppy and pulled his chin back towards him so he had no choice but to stare in his eyes. “I’m s-sorry.” He whimpered. “I’m, so sorry,” Shame was building up inside of him. This was all his fault.

Logan shook his head and Virgil had never seen him look so lost. “Why are you sorry Virgil. You haven’t done anything wrong. None of us are angry.” He glanced at Roman and Patton like he was looking for reassurance that he wasn’t lying. The two of them nodded in agreement and Roman shuffled closer to Virgil. “Confused, yes, but not angry.”

“I, did! I must’ve! I’m b-bad!” Virgil sobbed. “I shouldn’t have wings and I’m so, sorry.” He closed his eyes and pulled away from Patton’s hand still one his chin. “Dark…..Dark Sides…...we…...we aren’t supposed to,” He cut himself off with hiccuping sobs and pulled his hand out of Roman’s so he could bury his face in his arms. His wings were flapping slightly in distress and he felt a little light headed.

Roman immediately placed his arms around Virgil’s shoulder and pulled him towards his side. “You are not bad!” He protested hotly. “There is absolutely no reason for you not to have wings.”

Virgil lifted his head up and whipped his face with his arm. “Dark Sides,”

“You are not a Dark Side!” Patton cried. “Who told you that!? You’re one of us.”

“But I’m not a Light Side.” Virgil whispered. “I’m Anxiety. Anxiety isn’t Light, Deceit told me so, I shouldn’t have wings and that means I’m a mistake,”

Logan held up a hand, effectively stopping Virgil short. His eyes had gone hard and steely. “I’m going to cut you off right there. Would you please explain what you meant when you said  _ Deceit  _ told you? When did he tell you this?”

Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed. “Years ago.” He said softly “He was the first one I met when I manifested. He took me to meet the other Dark Sides. He was the one who told me I was one of them.”

Logan closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. Patton had ducked his head and was trembling, from anger or sadness Virgil couldn’t tell. Roman tightened his grip on Virgil. He could feel Roman’s wings shaking against his.

“Honey.” Patton didn’t look up but reached up and grabbed onto Virgil’s other hand.  His voice was shaking with anger. “Deceit lied. He’s been lying since the start. You are not a Dark Side, I promise you that.”

Virgil just stared at him. Then, he slowly began to shake his head. “But, he couldn’t’ve.” He whispered. His entire world seemed to sway around him. “Deceit, he can tell the truth sometimes.” 

“While it is true that Deceit is not incapable of telling the truth, what he told you about you being a Dark Side is a complete lie.” Logan was clenching his hands so hard that his knuckles was turning white. “This, this is our fault.”

Virgil snapped his head around to face Logan. “No! It’s not your fault!” How could they even think that? “You didn’t do anything!”

“Exactly.” Logan said. “We didn’t do anything. We weren’t there when you manifested and we weren’t there to prevent Deceit from putting such horrible thoughts into your head.”

“We knew from the start that you couldn’t be a Dark Side.” Roman mummered. “We thought that you were a neutral or something. When we started hanging out more, we knew that you had to be a Light Side. We thought…. we thought…….” He trailed off and buried his face in Virgil’s hair.

“We thought that you had lost your wings somehow.” Patton finally looked back up. His face was streaked with tear stains but his voice didn’t shake when he talked. “It’s why we stopped grooming each other in the common room. We thought that it was cruel to do it where you could see and know that you couldn’t be groomed too. We thought about asking you to groom one of us but, we didn’t know how you’d react.” He bumped his wings against Virgil gently. A shudder went through Virgil’s wings. No one had ever done that before and it felt so nice. “We should’ve asked.”

Virgil didn’t understand. What they were saying went against everything he ever knew. “But, my wings aren’t like yours.” He whispered. “They’re dark. They’re ugly. Why would you want to groom my wings?”

Silence fell for a few moments before Roman pulled away from him and he got a look at his horrified face. “What are you talking about!?” He exclaimed. “Your wings are beautiful!”

He gestured at them. “Just look at them! They’re so black and glossy. And those purple tips! They compliment you so well.” Roman ran fingers lightly over Virgil’s wings. “I noticed when we entered the common room that they shone in the light. They’re gorgeous.”

Tears blinded Virgil’s vision. Were they telling the truth? They had to be lying. They just had to be. 

“We’re not lying Virge.” Patton said. “We wouldn’t do that to you. Family doesn’t lie to each other.”

“Indeed.” Logan consoled. “Your wings are a part of you and as such are beautiful.” He reached out and placed a hand on Virgil’s knee. “Everything Deceit told you, was a lie. You are one of us.”

“I’m sorry that one of us didn’t find you when you manifested.” Patton mumbled. “If we had, none of this would’ve happened.”

“That’s…...that’s not your fault.” Virgil said, voice cracking. “You couldn’t have known. Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t have stopped.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Roman assented reluctantly. “But, now that we know that you have them, you don’t have to hide them. You can’t have them against your back all the time.”

Virgil chewed his lower lip. “What about Thomas?” He whispered. “What will he think?” 

“Well,” Logan chuckled. “Seeing as he’s been theorizing about what your wings look like for ages, I think that he’d be quite pleased if you let your wings out.”

“We’ll have to cut slits into your shirts and hoodies.” Patton muttered. “But, that’s not too hard. I’m assuming no one taught you how to fly either.”  
Virgil’s mouth dropped and his eyes widened. “We can fly? Like, actually fly?” He gushed. Aside from gliding a little when he was younger, he had never tried to fly. Pride had never enjoyed watching Anxiety glide around and made his displeasure shown. His wings were extra sore for months afterwards. He hadn’t tried to glide again.

“What, you thought these were just for decoration?” Roman teased. “Of course we can fly.”

“It will take sometime to build up the muscles necessary for your wings to carry you.” Logan sat back and adjusted his glasses. “But, with time you will be able to fly.”

Virgil leaned forwards in amazement. “You’ll help me?” 

Patton’s eyes shone with tears. “Of course we’ll help you, kiddo! That’s what family is for.”

Roman grinned. “We can use my room for practice! There’s lots of room in there to move around. We’ll have to focus on gliding around first and then,”

Logan cut him off. “However, one thing I must insist on is grooming. It is essential for us to keep our wings well cared for. While you have done a good job grooming yourself, I’m sure that it’ll be easier if you join in on our,” Logan grimaced. “Grooming circle.”

“If you’re not comfortable with that, that’s okay.” Patton assured. “We could do it one on one if that’s better.”

Virgil swallowed back a sob and nodded. “That sounds okay. The grooming circle thing, I mean. But, I’ve never groomed anyone else before. What if I do it wrong?”

“We’ll teach you.” Roman said. He tugged him towards him and pulled him into a hug. The others joined in immediately. Virgil’s wings brushed against Logan’s lightly. “We’ll teach you.”

Virgil shuddered at their touch and then leaned into the hug. His wings flapped eagerly and he could feel Patton’s joining in. “Yeah, okay.” He buried his face in Roman’s shoulder. “That sounds good. Thanks guys”  
  



	2. Chapter 2

In the year and 208 days since Virgil had made his first appearance, (and yes, Thomas had counted) Virgil had never shown his wings.

At first, when Virgil was still Anxiety, Thomas had just assumed that maybe the Anxious Side didn’t have wings. Yes, the others had wings but that didn’t necessarily mean that Anxiety had them too. Maybe there was just a difference between Anxiety and the others Sides. It probably explained why Anxiety always seemed to look longingly at their wings when he thought no one was looking. He was probably just a little jealous.

Not that Thomas could exactly blame him. The others’ wings were gorgeous. Logan had let him run his fingers through his feathers once, all the while reminding him the proper way to touch the sensitive appendages. His wings had been so soft and felt amazing to touch. Amazingly, he had somehow felt calmer just taking in the different shades of blue that made up Logan’s wings.

He could definitely understand how the Anxious Side would want his own set. So, he didn’t really look much into it.

That was, until Anxiety ducked out and, after going to bring him back, they were all officially introduced to Virgil.

Thomas couldn’t believe how blind he had been when it came to Virgil. What he had thought was a want to drive him up the freaking wall was actually just Virgil wanting to keep his safe. Yes, he might’ve been a little overprotective at time, but he never meant any harm. When Thomas had actually taken the time to look at how Virgil interacted with him and the others, it was clear how much Virgil wanted to be their friend. He was just so shy and was scared of being pushed aside. So, he isolated himself, thinking that it would hurt less than the others forcing him to do so.

Well, that was going to happen no longer.

Thomas refused to let Virgil fall to the side again. No sir, he would not let that happen ever again. He made sure that Virgil knew he felt welcome, whether it was among all of them or when it was just with Thomas himself. It helped that he had made the habit of spending one on one bonding time with all of his Sides.

Virgil had been so shocked when Thomas had summoned him just to ask if he wanted to watch a movie with him. He had shuffled his feet and looked at Thomas with a confused expression before asking if the others were coming too. Thomas would never forget Virgil’s face when he said that he just wanted to spend time with him.

It was then when Thomas picked the idea of Virgil having wings, back up.

After all, Virgil wasn’t any different than the others Sides. Why wouldn’t he have wings? Thomas started to think about the sort of wings that Virgil could have. Maybe his wings would be different shades of purple like Logan’s were different shades of blue. Or, maybe his wings were like Patton's and had no pattern. They could be like someone took his wings and splattered paint over them.

Thomas’ favourite head cannon was that Virgil would have totally purple wings, maybe in the same shades of purple like the ones on his hoodie. They would probably be smaller than the other’s but still large and strong enough that he would be able to fly. Something that Thomas still couldn’t get over. It had taken Roman taking him into his realm and diving off a cliff and then flying circles around him to make him actually believe that they could really fly.

But then, the other Sides revealed to him the bad news.

Thomas had sunk down into Logan’s room where he, Roman, and Patton were getting ready to groom each other. Thomas had asked months ago if he would be able watch them while they groomed and had been promptly taught how to properly groom their wings. He had been joining them in their grooming circles ever since. That day, he had taken one look around the room and asked, “Where’s Virgil? Isn’t he joining us?”

The others glanced awkwardly at each other and didn’t reply. Thomas immediately raised his eyebrows and gave them a Thomas Sanders Dad Look™, which Roman swore came from Patton. “I swear, if you guys tell me that you’re excluding Virgil on purpose I will lose it.”

Patton quickly waved his hands frantically, his wings giving a little flap at being accused of excluding his dark strange son. “No, no, no. It’s not like that Thomas, I swear!”

Logan quickly stood from where he had been setting up blankets and pillows for them to sit and relax in. His wings were tucked up against his back, unlike Roman and Patton who had theirs out and ready to be groomed. “Patton is correct, though I suppose you are as well. We are excluding Virgil from the grooming circle. However!” He added when Thomas placed his hands on his hips and glared at him. “That is not to say that we are doing so because we do not want Virgil here. We do have a good reason for not inviting him to come and groom us.”

Roman nodded from where he was, sitting on Logan’s bed. “Yes, we do. You see Thomas, none of us are sure how Virgil would react to us asking to groom one of us. He’s been alone for so long, which the blame for lies solely on our shoulders. We want to wait a little longer and get him more comfortable with us before we ask him to take part in such a intimate activity.”

Thomas pursed his lips and shook his head. “Okay and what is Virgil supposed to do in the meantime? Groom his own wings? You guys told me that that’s not something you’re supposed to do!” He had more to say but trailed out when he saw how his Sides reacted.

They were all staring at him, mouths agape and eyes wide. Patton slowly stepped forward until he was standing in front of him. “What do you mean Thomas, Virgil’s wings? Has Virgil shown you his wings?”

Thomas blinked in confusion before shaking his head. “No, he hasn’t. He hasn’t shown you guys either?”

Patton closed his eyes and nodded in understanding. He grabbed Thomas’ hand and pulled him towards the nest that they had been making. Roman slid down off the bed and joined them, Logan sitting down next to him. Patton pulled him down so he was sitting next to him and Logan. He interwove their fingers and placed his other hand on top of them.

“We haven’t told you much about the other Sides you have. Let’s change that.” Patton said quietly. “You have Light Sides, Dark Sides, and Neutral Sides. We could get into a whole bunch of stuff about how Dark Sides differ from us Light Sides and how Neutral Sides are mixed in there. But, we can get into that another day.”

Thomas resisted the urge to slam his head against the floor. Not only did he not get to know about the different Dark Sides, he was also just given the knowledge that there was even **more** Sides that he had yet to meet. It was only the urge to know why they were excluding Virgil that kept him from doing so.

“The important thing to know right now is that only us Light Sides have wings.” Logan continued. “Dark Sides have other animalistic qualities. An example of this is how Deceit has scales like a snake. Neutral Sides have no qualities such as these and are completely able to pass as almost a complete copy of you. Us Light Sides, as you are aware, have wings.”

“So, you’re saying that Virgil’s a Neutral Side?” Thomas questioned. Roman shook his head.

“No, he is a Light Side. You see Thomas, we too once thought the same thing. However, that was before we began to interact with our dear Prince of Darkness more and truly get a feel for him.” Roman spread his hands out to his sides. “All Sides have a core. It is how we are able to tell who is a Dark Side, who is Neutral, and who is a fellow Light Side. While at first Virgil kept his core hidden from us, not allowing us to even slightly get a read on it, he has opened up a little. We have gotten a glimpse of his core and it is very clear to us now that he is a Light Side.”

“But, then why doesn’t he show his wings? Do you think he’s afraid what we’ll think of them?” Thomas just couldn’t understand this. Why would Virgil hide his wings from them? Was he still afraid of being cast out?

Patton squeezed his hand and gave him a shaky smile. “No Kiddo. Have you ever noticed how Virgil’s back always seem to hurt him? How he’s always twitching like he’s hurt?”

“Or,” Logan suggested. “Like an old injury is hurting?”

Thomas stared at Logan before quietly replying. “What are you guys saying?”

“We’re saying Kiddo, that we don’t think that Virgil has his wings anymore.” Patton said gently. “Virgil didn’t always hang out with us. It would’ve been very easy for someone to get the jump on him and, and cut off his wings. Especially since he wouldn’t have had anyone to watch his back. It’s possible that one of the Dark Sides might’ve attacked him as a way to show that they aren’t afraid to hurt us.” His face darkened. “A mistake that they won’t be repeating.”

“And here, we have yet another time where we have failed Virgil.” Logan said. He took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. “Because of us, Virgil no longer has the wings that identified him as a Light Side.”

Thomas bit his lip and shook his head. “Is it possible that maybe he’s hiding them?”

Roman shook his head. “Very, very unlikely. Virgil is not the best at shifting into others or different forms. I doubt that he would be able to hold a form other than his natural one for very long. As for covering them up, well,” He grimaced. “Doing so would be torturous. I suppose that at first that he would be able to ignore the pain that would come with having his wings folded tight enough to hide them underneath a shirt or hoodie. But, after awhile, the pain would be too much to bear. Pulled muscles, bruises along your wing bones from holding them in such a pose for so long, and the feathers would be so ruffled that it would take forever to groom back into proper shape.”

“Needless to say Thomas, we doubt that Virgil would be able to hide his wings from us for all the years that we have known him.” Patton smiled at him and gently draped one of his large wing over Thomas’ shoulder, making him lean against Patton’s side. “I know that you think that we should invite Virgil to groom our wings even without his own. And, you’re right. But, we don’t want to be too hasty. Imagine if you lost something very important to you and then someone came up to you and asked if you’d like to help them with theirs. You wouldn’t be very happy, right? It’s why we moved these sessions to Logan’s room instead of doing it in the commons. We don’t want to make him watch us be groomed and know that he can’t be groomed too.”

“You’re probably right.” Thomas muttered. “There’s, no way for Virgil to get his wings back, is there?” The three Sides exchanged glances over his head before looking back at him.

“Anything is possible, I suppose.” Logan mused. “The four of us are the only Light Sides that you have and the three of us have never had our wings cut off. Virgil’s wings may very well, with time, grow back. We can only wait and see.”

Thomas nodded and burrowed further into Patton’s embrace. He couldn’t believe that any Side of him would want to hurt another, let alone Virgil. Virgil who only wanted to protect him.

The thought of Virgil being in pain from having his wings cut off and knowing that there was almost no chance of ever getting them back again almost made Thomas wish that Virgil was hiding his wings.

But, he trusted his Sides. If they said that there was no way for Virgil to hide his wings because of the pain he would experience, then that was the way it was.

* * *

 

Of course, all four of them under estimated Virgil’s fear of being excluded and his ability to ignore pain until it was literally making him unable to move.

Roman had informed him of what happened a few days after the incident had transpired. He had stretched himself over Thomas’s lap and let Thomas gently groom his wings while he explained what had happened as they sat in front of his couch.

“Those evil Dark Sides! All those years they were grooming our Storm Cloud! And not even the good kind of grooming! Making Virgil dependant on them, making him believe that he was a mistake, making him hide his wings!” Roman complained loudly. “You can believe that the next time I see one of them I’ll have some words to share with them.”

“I might have to join you.” Thomas whispered. He couldn’t wrap his mind around this. Virgil had hidden his wings despite the pain he had been in because he had been told that he was a Dark Side. The Dark Sides had twisted his mind so much at such a young age that he thought that he was a mistake, something that shouldn’t have even been born. Thomas was really starting to dread the day that he would meet that group of Sides.

Roman continued on like Thomas hadn't spoken. “You should’ve seen Virgil’s wings before they were properly groomed! The feathers were so ruffled, you have no idea how many fell out!”

Thomas stopped grooming Roman and leaned back against his couch. “There isn’t any lasting damage is there?” He couldn’t imagine how Virgil would feel if his wings were forever damaged because he had been too scared to keep his wings out where they belonged.

Roman waved his hand in dismissal. “Oh, his wings are fine. The pulled feathers are already grown back in. His wings are still healing but they will be fine in just a few weeks if he keeps them loose and does the exercises that Logan showed him. Nothing too strenuous.” He assured when he saw Thomas balk at the idea of Virgil exercising when he was still in pain. “All he has to do is to stretch his wings every day for an hour or so and we are all helping him to do so. It’s not usually painful but Virgil hasn’t stretched his wings properly in ages. He needs to get his wings in top shape if he’s ever going to be able to fly.”

Thomas nodded and went back to grooming Roman’s wings, grinning at his soft sigh of contentment. He hesitated before giving into his curiosity. “What do they look like?”

Rom stretched his wings one last time before tucking them behind his back and sitting up so he was sitting next to Thomas. “They are absolutely gorgeous.” He gushed. “Nothing like you were imagining. Yes Thomas,” He said raising an eyebrow at Thomas’ incredulous look. “I know what you were imagining. I do rule your imagination.”

“Whatever.” Thomas rolled his eyes. “So, his wings?”

Roman clapped his hands in excitement. “Midnight black wings. So silky and they practically glow when the light hits them! And! And, and, there are little blackish purplish feathers mixed in throughout them. Simply beautiful!”

Oh, Thomas could imagine. They sounded like they fit in perfectly with Virgil’s personality and he could totally imagine those midnight black wings on their protector.

He ran his hands through his hair and grinned at the Creative Side. “Well, I’m glad that Virgil’s not in pain anymore. It couldn’t have been pleasant for him to hide his wings like that.”

That certainly got Roman’s frown back on his face. “Oh, it definitely couldn’t have been. I’m glad that he’s agreed to let Patton fix his clothes. New slits in all of his shirts and hoodies!” He bumped his arm against Thomas’ and gave him a small smile. “I’m sure that you’ll get a good look at them soon.”

* * *

 

It was a few hours later that same day when Thomas got his first look at Virgil’s wings.

He had risen up in the Commons’ kitchen, hoping to see Patton before their movie night. The Moral Side could usually be found in the kitchen making snacks for the night or prepping for breakfast in the morning. Instead of finding Patton with a recipe book in hand, he had found himself in an empty kitchen and pained grunts coming from the living room section of the Commons.

He quietly made his way through the kitchen and peered into the living room from the doorway. In the center of the room with his shirt off and Patton, gently helping him lift his wings as high as they would go, was Virgil.

Virgil with his wings fully out. Oh, Roman had been downplaying just how beautiful those wings were.

They weren’t the smallest of the group by any means. They were slightly larger than Logan’s but smaller than Patton and Roman’s. His wings were the same shade of black as his eyeshadow and there was little fluffy grey feathers closer to his back. Purple feathers the same colour as the patches on his hoodie outlined the tips of his wings and they were littered across them in random spots without rhyme or reason.

They were totally and utterly Virgil.

He must’ve made some sort of sound in his wonder because Virgil had turned around and was turning the same colour as Patton’s cardigan. He was glancing between Thomas and Patton in terror, shifting his feet like he wanted more than anything to run to his room and hide. His wings snapped to his back quickly which made him hiss slightly in pain. Patton stepped up next to Virgil, wrapped one of his wings around him and took one of Virgil’s hand in a gentle but firm hold.

“Hey Thomas!” Patton greeted him a cheery tone, which Thomas could tell was only a little forced. “What are you doing here? I thought that you would be coming up a little while later for movie night.”

Thomas tore his eyes away from Virgil’s wings and met Patton’s eyes. “I thought we were meeting here at seven?”

Patton’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and then realization. “And here I thought we were meeting at eight! Silly me!” He beamed at Virgil who managed a half hearted and shaky smile. “I guess that the others are still in their rooms working. Virgil, why don’t you put your shirt and hoodie back on while I go find them? Thomas and you can take the first crack at picking movies.” He squeezed Virgil’s hand reassuringly before letting go and making his way up stairs to the Side’s rooms.

The Commons were silent for a few seconds before Virgil gingerly picked up his shirt from where it had been thrown on the floor and slipped it back on, slipping his wings through the slits that had been cut in the back. His wings were trembling.

Thomas’ heart ached for him, which probably wasn’t the best thing for Patton. He tried to think of something to say but, he couldn’t think of the right words that would properly describe how awesome Virgil’s wings were to him.

Virgil met his eyes briefly before flicking his gaze to the ground. “So,” He fidgeted with his shirt. “What’s up?”

Thomas took a few steps towards Virgil, stopping when the shaking spread from his wings to the rest of his body. “Not much.” He said nonchalantly. “You?”

Virgil shrugged. His wings were tucked up tight enough against his back that it had to be causing him pain. Thomas gave him a soft smile and gestured to his wings.

“It might be more comfortable if you relax those a little.” He suggested. Virgil nodded and his wings relaxed just a touch. Thomas thought for a moment for deciding to take a leap of faith. “They’re beautiful, by the way.”

Shock spread over Virgil’s face before a frown tugged at his lips. “Patton told you to say that. Didn’t he?”

Thomas kept the smile on his face and shook his head. “Well, sorta. I mean, he is pretty insistent on me telling the truth so, I guess he kinda did.” He stepped a little closer and rested a hand on the Anxious Side’s arm. “I don’t like lying Virge. Especially to my family.”

Virgil finally raised his eyes to meet his and his lower lip wobbled dangerously. He nodded and his wings slowly relaxed and unfurled so that they were resting at his sides. Thomas beamed at him, squeezing him arm softly.

Virgil nodded again before stepping closer to him, a nervous look on his face. Thomas immediately understood what he was getting at and opened his arms in invitation. Virgil stepped into Thomas’ space and Thomas wrapped his arms around him and his wings.

Thomas’ fingers brushed the feathers of Virgil’s wings and was amazed with how soft they were. Obviously, the rest of Thomas’ family had taken the job of grooming his wings back into proper shape, very seriously.

After a few moments of relaxing in each other’s embrace, Virgil pulled back and jerked his head towards the T.V. “We should probably pick at least one movie before Princey comes down and we’re stuck watching “Beauty and the Stockholm Syndrome” again.” His voice was shaky with barely held back tears and the skin around his eyes were red and puffy. Thomas nodded, almost lost in the feeling of intense joy and love he was feeling for Virgil right now. Patton had to be bouncing off the walls.

“Of course.” He tugged Virgil towards the movie cabinet by the hand. “What are you thinking?”

Virgil’s wings brushed Thomas’ back and Tomas could see the black and purple feathers in the side of his vision. His youngest Side looked more relaxed than Thomas had ever seen him. Virgil slowly wove his fingers through Thomas’. By the time that Patton had tracked the others and brought them downstairs, Creator and Side was seated on the couch relaxing with Big Hero 6 playing in the background. Virgil had rested one of his wings in Thomas’ lap and was letting him run his fingers through the soft purple feathers by the tips.

Thomas didn’t think he could love his little family of avians Sides more if he tried. But, to be fair, he’d been thinking that for close to a year now and his love for them just kept growing.


End file.
